We are moving more deeply into May and Mother’s Day is here. With that, comes a plethora of advertisements, window displays, and social media posts concerning the holiday. This may be wonderful if you have a healthy relationship with your mother but what if you don’t? What if you are estranged from your mother or she has passed on?
Difficulties in familial relationships are often glossed over and rarely talked about. Perhaps it is easier to focus on the good things and paint a pretty picture to mask the pain. Still, what happens if Mother’s Day emotionally triggers you, brings up past trauma, or leaves you feeling isolated?
Here are some tips for getting through the day and prioritizing your mental health:
Mother Yourself: If you are estranged from your mother due to abuse, neglect, or addiction, this can be a very trying time. Take the day to focus on yourself if possible. Do something relaxing that soothes your soul. Cook your favorite food or listen to music. You may need a break from reality and social interaction. Go off the grid, if possible. Turn off social media and the phone. If heavy emotions come up, you may want to journal and have a good cry. Say words of affirmation to yourself. Speak on self-love. Be the nurturing force that your mother could not embody. Keep loving you.
Honor Her Spirit: If your mother has passed on and you would like to honor her memory, consider erecting an ancestor altar in your home. This is a quiet space to venerate deceased loved ones. Many people place their altar in the living room or study. It typically includes a picture of the loved one, fresh flowers, a glass of water, and a candle. This is a place you can go to whenever you are missing her. Talk to her as you did in life. Write her letters, sing to her, and thank her for being there for you. If you had a difficult relationship with a deceased parent, you can use this space to pray for the evolution of her soul and affirm that she finds peace.
Celebrate You: If you are a mother, this is your day. Give your family instructions concerning what you want to do. Maybe it’s breakfast in bed or a nice dinner. Maybe mom wants the day off completely. Consider what will bring you the greatest joy and focus on that.
Holidays can be exciting, joyous, and beautiful. They can also be a frenzied wave of emotions that leave our heads spinning. The important thing is to keep our feet on the ground and our hearts open wide. After all, relationships are never perfect, and the past cannot be changed. Sometimes, we just have to focus on the present and be the mothers we never had.
Wishing you much love this holiday and beyond!
Author: Nicole Bowman, http://bestamericanpsychics.com/listing/nicole-bowman