This. Is. Hard....

Mar 23 2020

This. Is. Hard….

I know. I’m right there with you. These are uncertain times. With the outbreak of the coronavirus and closures everywhere you turn, so many of us are afraid, and not knowing what’s going to happen next. Let me just say it’s normal to have a variety of emotions. The most important thing that we can do during these times is to be gentle with ourselves. If you find yourself one moment crying and one moment feeling completely confused and lost, just realize that you are not alone. 


I know, for so many people, there have been extraordinary losses. For school kids, it’s the loss of classes and time with their friends. For many of us, it’s loss of work and the uncertainty and fear with loss of income. For many people, and especially the elderly, it’s simply the loss of human contact. Just not being able to gather in groups or get a hug is absolutely a huge loss. So if you’re feeling sad or depressed know, it’s completely normal. But what I want to add is something that I hope can change your perspective.


Now please understand I am not being Pollyanna about any of this. But there is something to be said for choosing your emotional state. It’s so easy to look at the glass half empty. And I know right now there is a ton of emptiness to go around. However, the fact that we all woke up this morning certainly has to be a blessing. There will be people reading this that say it’s not. And again, I can totally understand that. But it’s important during these times, as we build up our fortitude and strength of character, to notice what IS going well in our lives. And I’m not saying that everything is butterflies and rainbows right now because it’s definitely not. I myself have moments of time where I wonder how this will all turn out. But to help you hold on, here are a few things to keep in mind that I hope can help guide you through this crisis.


First, just take note of the little things. If you can take a walk outside or even sit outside and look up at the blue sky, that is certainly something nice. Think about the fact that you can open your eyes and look around and notice all the colors and beauty that there still is in this world. Hey, your eyes work!!  OK I can hear some of you saying “that’s so cheesy, Mari” but honestly, think about it. If all of your faculties are working, your body is processing things in the way it is supposed to for the most part, you are blessed. As long as you have food on your plate, shelter and can walk around (even in your own home), that counts for something. And it’s during these stressful times that we have the opportunity to shift our perspective and focus on the good things that we still have.

 
Secondly, think of people that have less than you even before Covid-19. How are they faring? If you’re upset that you didn’t get to make that great trip to Vegas think of people that have never been there in the first place. Yes that might seem hard to grasp, but it’s reality. No matter how little you have, more than likely, there’s somebody that has less. And focusing on all the things that go right for us on a daily basis helps to alter our attitude into one of Gratitude instead of one of Lack. 


And lastly, may I make a plea to look out for those people that might need some extra support. Perhaps you have an elderly friend or neighbor that could use a phone call just to say hi. People might be socially isolating but being socially isolated can certainly cause depression or worse. Make a mental note of anybody in your circle who could use a pick me up. Even if you send a them a card or drop off some packaged cookies, every little bit of kindness counts. And part of me feels that maybe some of the reason we are all going through this now is to remind ourselves that we need each other. No one is an island and in order to be happy and whole we need people. Just think about that for a minute.


But by no means am I saying all this is easy. Like I mentioned, it is a struggle. Daily. But just like if you were trying to get in shape, there would be struggles. Nobody jumps up every single day raring to go to the gym. Everybody has those moments where they’re like “Oh I really don’t wanna do this today, I’m not feeling it.” And it’s in those moments when you are building character and grit. But just because you intellectually know you should be grateful and focused on the good doesn’t make it easy. However, hopefully reading something like this might remind you when you’re having one of those moments (and trust me I have them all the time) to go back to the breath, focus on your heart space and give off a tiny thought of gratitude that you are still here.


This also doesn’t mean we stop mourning the things that we have lost. I know many people have had to cancel big events, weddings, family trips, tournaments etc. and have no clue how to soldier on. It’s just for whatever reason right now, it’s not the right time. As I like to tell my clients that when we look at life it’s as if we are looking at the back of a needlepoint. If you’ve never seen the back of a needlepoint project, it’s a mess. There’s strings going everywhere, there’s knots, colors that end abruptly – there is no clear vision at all. But that is how we view life- only from the back. It’s when we get some perspective and we can see the needlepoint from *the front* that we understand the bigger picture.


So know that you are not alone. These are trying times for the strongest of us. But if you take a few moments to add a little gratitude practice to your life you will visibly see how your energy will change. It’s not all doom and gloom. And we will get through this, make no mistake. But in the meantime, look up at the sky and count your blessings. I’ll be doing the same. Much love,Mari 

Author: Mari Cartagenova https://bestamericanpsychics.com/advisor/mari-cartagenova

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